To the Woman Who Gave Me Life, by Pamela Cunningham

Once upon a time, I was very angry, hurt, and scared of you. Once, I believed all those things you said about me. Once, I thought you were actually what a mother should be.

Then I met some beautiful women who showed me what love really is. How it should feel and how it should be. How it builds you up, not tears you down.

I know that you tried very hard to separate and destroy our family. I know that the illness in your mind made you behave this way. I know you could only work with what you had at the time.

I resented you for many years. I hated you. I held a grudge. I knew in my heart that there was no way that I could even think about forgiving you for what you had done to our family.

As many years have passed now I want you to know that I have forgiven you. I want you to know that I am very grateful to you. You gave me my life. You gave me.  two amazing sisters and two wonderful brothers. You helped us to learn so many things about reality and people. You gave us all brilliant minds. You taught us all how to be strong. Your mean ways taught us kindness and compassion. Your neglect taught us to pay attention to others. Your hateful words taught us a deep respect for showing courtesy. Your lies taught us honesty. Your mental illness taught us personal awareness.

When I was young, I couldn’t understand why you treated us so badly. As an adult, I figured out how important your presence has been to me. I know why, and I am so grateful to have learned all that I did from you so early on in life. That has enabled me to remember, to make peace with the past, learn from it, and now teach and inspire others. I may never have been able to accomplish all of this in one lifetime otherwise. I may never have tried to help anyone else.

Our family not only survived your drama. We also are thriving adults who only want the best for ourselves and each other. We are aware of our shared love for each other. We are becoming the family you tried to destroy and are living the lives that you tried to poison. We are better off without you now, but we are also better because of you.

I forgive you and I thank you for the lessons that you have taught me.Your birth child Pam Cunningham

To learn more about Pamela Cunningham Please visit her  website at:


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